A Tale of Two Sons

Hunter and Joe Biden

I doubt I could pick Hunter Biden from a police lineup. I know I’ve seen photos of him, frequently with his father, but they haven’t penetrated my consciousness. In the last nine days, as the predictably partisan fallout from the FBI’s search of Mar-a-Lago, I’ve noticed the recurring theme of “what about Hunter Biden?” Loyalists to The Former President keep trying to make Hunter-related scandals happen.

Lead among these voices has been Donald Trump, Jr. For eight days now, Don-Don has feverishly urged anybody who’ll listen to him, to please kick-start more media outrage surrounding Hunter Biden’s laptop, Hillary Clinton’s emails, and Paul Pelosi’s insider trading. I’ve personally witnessed Don-Don’s performative indignation from his Twitter feed (joining that bird-shit site is maybe my life’s biggest error). He’s also appeared on Fox News, Newsmax, and OANN.

Don-Don certainly isn’t alone here. Fellow conspiracy theorists include Laura Ingraham, Lauren Boebert, and Nick Adams. But Junior uniquely has skin in the game, as his father and namesake is actively accused of unauthorized document hoarding. If The Former President falls behind his mishandling of official government documents, it isn’t simply Don-Don’s reputation that falls with him; it’s his literal flesh and blood.

Therefore Don-Don has apparently decided the likely target is another person in similar straits: Hunter Biden. The current President’s only surviving son certainly has benefited from paternal connections. Hunter Biden attended Georgetown University and Yale Law, went straight from graduate school to a high-powered finance career, and became Executive Vice President of MBNA before turning thirty. To Don-Don’s eyes, the two sons maybe appear essentially similar in situation.

However, distinct differences between the two families exist. The Former Guy clearly considers all relationships, even those within his family, essentially transactional. Just as renters in Trump properties receive prestigious, centrally located housing in exchange for cash, Trump family members receive family connections in exchange for services. Ivanka, Don-Don, and Eric have been career business partners and campaign advisors for their father.

(Poor Tiffany’s face could be on a milk carton, for all I know.)

Donald Trump Jr. and Sr.

In other words, The Former President values his family to the exact extent that they provide him with wealth and power. Like a medieval French aristocrat, paternal love always carries an asterisk. Love serves the dynastic ambition. Should The Former President pop a rivet tomorrow, we’d probably see his three favored children immediately scrambling for advantage, much like Charlemagne’s sons fought over the empire their father rightfully stole.

Because Trump family love is transactional, Don-Don can’t imagine another well-connected family doesn’t work similarly. He’s conditioned to see economics, politics, and family as equally beholden to feudal prestation. Every Trump scion’s family position depends on their willingness to contribute to the business. Therefore, to Don-Don, the Biden family must have sordid connections, because unconditional love is for suckers and the poor.

Don’t mistake me; I’m no Biden apologist. Hunter Biden probably could’ve advanced as fast or as far as he did without extensive family connections. The investigation of his financial entanglements has progressed glacially, I won’t disagree. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that the investigation has been politicized; it only proves that there’s insufficient evidence for a dramatic Florida-style search.

But there’s a difference between saying fathers help their sons out, and saying fathers buy their sons influence. Just as working-class fathers teach their sons work ethic, military fathers teach their sons discipline, and famous fathers teach their sons “da bidness,” it’s not unreasonable for powerful fathers to teach their sons the avenues of power. For Don-Don, that means the avenues of Manhattanite business. For Hunter Biden, that means Washington.

Admittedly, family connections create ethically squishy areas. Hunter Biden left MBNA to become a lobbyist while Joe Biden was a Senator, which makes my skin crawl. And not only mine; National Review referred to Joe Biden as “the Senator from MBNA” because Hunter was a finance-industry lobbyist while Joe co-sponsored a bill partially deregulating the credit card industry. So don’t misunderstand me; I don’t believe anybody has clean hands here.

However, I believe there’s a categorical difference between saying fathers try to encourage their sons to emulate their values, and saying fathers and sons have transactional relationships. Don-Don’s desperate flailing to make last week’s Mar-a-Lago search be about Hunter’s laptop demonstrates a massive lack of vision, one which Don-Don learned from his father. Because some fathers love their sons, and some fathers use their sons.

And when you’re in one kind of relationship, it’s impossible to see the other kind.